Beauty and The Beast
No transformation will occur. Beast remains a beast.
Belle: Ayan, kasing sama ng hitsura mo yung ugali mo!
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs
There's no poison apple and no evil stepmother, only a best friend looking at the mirror, saying over and over,"Who's the fairest of them all?"
*wide smile*
Dwarves: Hi-ho, hi-ho and off to work we gooooo....(one dwarf plunges down to his death)
Snow White: Ang dami mong sinasabi.
Aladdin
While on a magic carpet ride...
Aladdin: I can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid..tell me Princess now when did you last let your heart decide..
Jasmine: (pushes Aladdin off the carpet) Unbelievable sights! Indescribable feeling! Soaring, tumbling, free wheeling...Every turn a surprise!
It's not gonna be a duet, it will never be a duet, It would be a vindictive solo performance.
Lion King
Simba meets Timon and Pumbaa after running away from his home. Timon and Pumbaa help him realize his potential and true destiny, that is, to become the King of Pride Rock. But after years of friendship and support, instead of thanking the two, he would say…
Simba: Masyado kayo nakikialam sa buhay ko.
Timon: Huwaat?!
Pumbaa(Me): *eats Simba*
That little ingrate.
Set against the "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" music backdrop.
Mulan
Pretending to be a boy, Mulan ends up falling for Captain Shang. But when the Captain finds out that Mulan is really a girl, he turned her down. Apparently, Captain Shang likes men. And Mulan is really a confused transvestite.
Little Mermaid
King Triton turned Ariel human, and left her in the world of men all alone. Then, he changed his ocean address so that Ariel won't be able to follow.
King Triton: Kaya mo na yan, malaki ka na naman.
Guess the title should have been, “Big Mermaid”., or “Dugong”, or “Sea Cow”. Or better yet “Free Willy.”
RUMOR MILL:
Prince Eric is currently dating Beast. Mahilig ata talaga siya sa part animal.
Prince Charming of Snow White is seeing one of the Seven Dwarfs. Hush hush still on who among the 7. Clue: The guy's 3ft tall.
Prince Philip who is in a long distance relationship with Aladdin is rumored to have fallen out of love due to the distance brought about by the long VISA application approval status of Aladdin.
And Captain Shang is still in love with the "old" Mulan.
Simba is dead.
*Note: I have no intention of hurting anyone or any nation for that matter. These (particularly the rumor mill) are all done just for fun.
