Dear M Diary #1 "Get a Move On,He's Not That Into You"

Dear M,

I like this guy. Let's just say I feel that emotionally I'm more mature than him. We go out from time to time, but never just the two of us. We have a lot of fun together. Malambing, mabait, funny, matalino, minsan papakita siya ng extra "care" you know, so feeling ko, he kinda likes me din. There are so many mixed signals, that confuses me. And I feel na mejo hirap siya mag open up, alam mo yun. So I want to take it slow din. Baka din kasi masira yung friendship, pero gusto ko sabihin din sa kaniya nafefeel ko. So I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out, and baka madevelop into something else, or tama na maghanap nalang ng iba? HELP!

Cara

Dear Cara,

Hi Cara, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me and I sure hope I could help you out with this one.

So ano nga uli problema mo? Hindi pa ba obvious sayo yung sagot? Meron ka pang should I wait it out na nalalaman? Honey the only thing you're waiting for here, is another heartbreak, plus diving into the realms of alcoholism. (I should know..been there! Hahaha!) IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. He's NOT INTO YOU. Masakit ba? Pero you've already said it. If he likes you, I mean really likes you, he would go out of his way to be alone with you, to go out with you, to do things with you. Eh dun pa lang malabo na eh.

Second, what mixed signals? Are you even sure there are signals? You know, I'm a girl, and I know that girls get so analytical when it comes to "signs" and "signals"..that's why I love talking to guys better. Baka naman ikaw lang nakakakita ng signals ineng? Ate, buksan mo mga mata mo. There's no such thing as mixed signals, it's either "he likes you" or "he doesn't"..usually there's no in between..kung meron man..ang tawag dun "meantime girl"..do you want to spend the rest of your life as a meantime girl? Siyempre hindi! You deserve so much better.

Thirdly, hirap siya magopen up? Maybe, that's true, there are people like that. But if he likes you, i mean really likes you, bakit kelangan yung move manggagaling sayo? Bakit kailangan ikaw yung mag take it slow? He has to be the one to initiate where you are both heading..and the way I'm reading it, siya alam niya kung saan siya pupunta..eh IKAW, alam mo ba? Hindi. Do you want to have a meaningful relationship with someone who can't even tell you where your relationship is heading?

Lastly, girl, there's no such thing as "masisira ang friendship" kalokohan yun ate. Saan ba nagsisimula ang isang magandang relasyon? Diba sa pagkakaibigan? If he really likes you, i mean really likes you, the hell with friendship, pwede pa din naman kayo maging friends and maging lovers eh. So what's stopping him? It's the fact na, he doesn't want you ENOUGH to want to risk anything. He's NOT into you ENOUGH to want to take a move on to the next level. Yun lang yun.Di ka niya gusto.

Girl, I'm sure you're smart, you're beautiful, you're charming and attractive. And I know how it feels, to get your hopes up over someone and then fall flat on your face in the end. But you deserve better, you deserve to be treated like a Queen, you don't really have to do anything. There's someone out there, who will go out of his way to tell you that he likes you and you wouldn't have to worry about all these things. And the more time you spend over this someone, who I'm sure is great but does not like you enough, the less time you can get to spend it with that even greater "someone out there". Get a move on. He's not into you, and it's ok. Doesn't make you less of a person or a woman. It's just a simple fact. You're great, you need someone who knows and appreciate how great you are.

P.S.
::You know, it's true that when you look at everything outside the box, you get to see things clearer, unbiased and with a fresh perspective. This is true, sometimes when we are in difficult situation, that we know the solution to, we still refuse to accept or get a move on, because we know that once we does, we will get hurt..a lot. Only by doing this, we're going to get hurt anyway, we're just delaying it for a few more months or days.

We often do this bullshit thingy of delaying pain, when it comes to love, or whatever we want to call it. Kasi masarap maniwala na merong happy ending etong napili nating sitwasyon, kahit na wala naman talaga. Minsan masarap umasa na, matatapos din lahat ng problema natin, kung magiging maayos lang to.Kaya naisip ko na, I have to practice "looking outside the box"..Hahaha!